Music is not my calling. The visual
arts are. But man have I always wanted to be able to rock out! I
really love music and I love playing it, no matter how much I suck.
I have always idolized my friends who could play instruments and
sing. Mikey G. would have to
be my biggest influence as far as friends go. I love his guitar
playing and have since he started. He had this killer Takemine 12-string
that he used to play on. By some random coincidence, my parents
bought me a 6-string Takemine Jasmine for Christmas one year, after
I had taken a liking to their old classic acoustic guitar. God,
do they even have those anymore? Like nylon strings? I guess they
must. But it was with that guitar, the Jasmine, that I learned all
that I know now. Granted, that isn't much, but with that one guitar
I have written and recorded about 2 dozen songs, and have learned
to play about the same amount of cover songs. As many people could
probably guess... I tend to try and learn covers of Indigo Girls
songs, and I am proud to say that I have the finger-picking down
for "Ghost", and know probably another 8 songs by them.
In fact, I even wrote two songs in the hopes that they would someday
sing one of them.. and even handed one of them off to their roadie,
the night after Kate, Chelsea
and I "met" Amy Ray and got her autograph. I did manage
to at least get my business card to Amy, which I consider to be
totally cool. Some day...
aside from my outside influences, I tend to write songs that are
indicative of what's going on in my life. As such, I have written
a lot of songs about the girls in my life. Some are laments for
love that was never realized, some for explanations of my love for
them - knowing that I couldn't put it another way, and some are
just out-and-out dissertations on how much people mean to me. And
sometimes, they are in regards to someone else's relationships and
how I have seen them from an outsider's viewpoint. "Better
Friends" is one of those songs, and one that I hope the Indigo
Girls will sing one day as that I wrote it from the girl-in-question's
point-of-view. And then some of my songs - and admittedly, considerably
fewer - are about the world around me. Some are done in a techno-style
approach, using mostly sampled beats and synth, some are spoken
word over an audio track and some are actual guitar and vocals.
I have recently gotten much more into my music and finally purchased
an electric bass guitar as well as traded in my sister's old Fender
Squire for a nice new (and not warped) Epiphone SG. I am pretty
geeked, actually. And using the bass, I wrote my first bassline
and put it to my new song, "Icarus" - which is a song
about/for Pearl. I am looking
forward to writing more basslines for my other songs as well as
for any new songs I write. And now with a working electric guitar
and a distortion pedal - well.. the sky's the limit.
As for the next step - well... I will continue to write music,
play and sing the songs... and I will try to learn and maybe even
record some of the covers... but in truth, I am starting a band.
A band - whom I have been referring to as "The Unliklies"
- which will be comprised mostly of people (my friends) who you
would never really think of to be in a band - MNatti
on didg and banjo, Dan on drums,
didg, random bike-related instruments, Kate
on guitar, keys, flute, and vocals, Scotts on drums and any rap
vocals we might have, and maybe Mikayla on keys... It should be
terrible at worst and almost tolerable at best :)
But for the time being, I wanted to have my entire album up here
for your listening... umm... pleasure? This is the album I have
been working on for MANY years and spans almost the entirety of
my guitar-learnings. So some may be very rudimentary, while some
have considerably more going on. My most favorites, currently, are
"I'll Find You" and "Icarus" - both of which
are about Pearl. But I also
still love "The Grind, Part 1" as that it features my
old Subaru and some of my better synth-techno. I dunno... I guess
that I actually love it all. I am proud of my collection of music
that I have written - I think, because, like everything else in
my life, I have poured my heart and soul into them - even if my
means of expressing them are not quite perfect. Yet.
From the Inward Inertia album (still in progress):
01 :: Intro
Passage (608k) - This is the introduction to my "album".
Its a short narrative poem that I wrote which explains a little
behind the motivation of the writing of these songs. It's nothing
special, but it at least introduces the album, the music and why
it came to be.
02 :: UNSPOKENword
(4.57MB) - This was originally written as a poem for this girl,
Christine, who I had met through a friend (Jess) at the Amherst
Brewing Company. She was actually Jess' roommate. I was so blown
away by this girl... I can still remember it. But we were peripheral
friends at best, and apparently, she had a boyfriend elsewhere and
she was moving soon. It was more or less destined to never be, yet
I longed for it more than usual. By some random coincidence, I ended
up driving Jess home one night - so she didn't have to drive drunk
- and ended up having to crash at her place. The coincidence wasn't
that - and in fact, Christine was gone for the weekend. The coincidence
was that Jess deemed the best place for me to sleep was in Christine's
bed, which happened to be made up almost exactly how my own was...
same pillows, and the exact same blue fleece blanket... It was like
I was at home. Which made it all that much more surreal and awesome.
She disappeared soon thereafter and I have not seen her since. Too
bad. for me.
03 :: I
Was Wrong (10.28MB) - After experiening the same kind
of loss after break-ups with girls, I decided to write a song about
how it was obviously a mistake on my part for having trusted them
and how, despite the hurt it brought with their betrayal, that I
still wanted to be friends with them. This is a going theme in my
life, yet nearly none of the girls in question have had enough gaul
to attempt friendship. Only the strong have survived, girls like
Justine and Melissa
- and therefore, this song is TOTALLY NOT about them. Its about
everyone else that, well... I was apparently wrong about.
04 :: I'll
Find You (3.79MB) - Dreams. Sweet dreams are made of
these... but really, who am I to disagree? Wish I wrote that line...
no, this is about, well, Pearl. Its really about the dreams I would
have of her - nothing perverted or anything - but of how I would
find her at night, even though we lived so far apart. It is also
kind of a re-telling of how she came to be in my life. She has always
had this almost etherial position in my mind, not quite real, but
real enough that she lives in my most vivid and happy dreams. This
was also my first official foray into using an electric guitar for
05 :: Icarus
(5MB) - Icarus is the most recent song that I have written. I REALLY
like it. It employs many more allusions and references than my other
songs, but I think its mostly because I wrote my first ever bass-line
for this song and really dig it. This song is also about Pearl,
but was written at a moment when I had lost sight of the goal, and
when I had felt betrayed by her and her love. I was down on my luck
and feeling like I had been tossed to the wind, after everything
I had done. It felt like I had gotten too close, and as a result
of my haste, I suffered the consequences of it and was now wrapped
up in emotional turmoil, that had really brought on myself. It basically
says it how I feel it - that I would give her anything and everything,
but even I have my break points and will fall to my death if I am
06 :: The
Grind - Part 1 (3.14MB) - I never got a around to finishing
this series, though two other parts were planned out. The Grind
is about exactly that... the daily grind. MY daily grind. I wanted
to express a day in my life through music... mostly techno-style
music as that my days are mostly chaotic and well-orchestrated.
I also give a little hats-off to the Matrix in this song, and a
reference to one of our favorite lines from that movie. And it also
features my old Subaru and it's infamous valve-lifter problem. But
it was what was happening at that point in my life, at least for
the morning. I do still plan on doing an "afternoon" and
a "night"... so many ideas, so little time.
07 :: Better
Friends (5.85MB)- Better Friends is about a relationship
that wasn't my own. And I wrote it from the girl's point of view.
Granted, I embellished the details a bit for the sake of the story,
but the overall point was there and I think it describes the situation
well. I can't remember if I played that for either of the people
involved - seeing as I am still friends with both of them - but
I think I would like to at some point. The message of the song though,
is that - as I believe - to make any relationship successful, you
need to be friends as well as lovers. And generally speaking, if
you dont establish that early on, it only becomes harder and harder
to do so as teh relationship progresses, and sadly, is usually the
demise of the relationship. This is one of the songs that I wrote
for the Indigo Girls to play, if only because I would love to hear
it sung by a woman - and could easily be adapted to be about a woman
as well... :)
08 :: The
Fortune Teller (3.9MB)- I'm not entirely sure where
I was in life when I wrote this. I think I was probably trying to
find myself and having people try to tell me who I was, like, as
in, tell me who they wanted me to be. I have never subscribed to
a mentality where anyone but me tells me who I should be, and so
it is a relatively foreign concept to me that people can be lead
like that. But, at the same time, I know that only focusing on youself
makes for a shallow and distant person. This song is really just
a story about how I have defined myself, though "I" don't
appear as the focus of the song. It's kind of just a song with a
moral to it.
09 :: Responsibull
(4.36MB) - We all have responsibilities in our lives. Things we
need to take care of, places we need to go, jobs, school, and generally
living. I wrote this song admist a small period when I had virtually
none of these. I was kind of living in a bubble, out in Sunderland.
It was a weird mix between no responsibility and the most responsibility
ever - meaning that while I lacked the everyday responsibilities,
I had others that were more obscure, like the need to find some
normal ones. I dunno... it's hard to explain. But this is my first
"Rap" song ever, and it was my way of breaking away from
the norm and trying something else. It addresses my life as it was,
as others tried to help me define it, outcomes that would never
happen and the final conclusions that I drew once I had thought
it all through. It's interesting. I won't say that it's a good song...
I wrote and recorded it in one afternoon... but it's at least different.
at a Time (3.99MB) - I wrote this song amidst some
problems I was having with Chelsea. It's REALLY gay. I admit it.
Only slightly more gay than "Follow Me" - the other song
I wrote for her. But all throughout our relationship, she always
expected me to know the answers to everything. And try as I might,
I am certainly not perfect, nor do I (or can I) know all teh answers
to all things... It was a real problem for us because she wouldn't
even attempt to come up with an answer herself and it eventually
destroyed us. But I wrote this song after one particularly revealing
argument which she basically spelled it all out for me - that she
was unable to face things because she was scared of being hurt.
I understand that sentiment, though I don't subscribe to it myself.
I think everyone understands that though, we all just have our different
ways of dealing with it. And that's what this song is about. How
to deal with the prospect of making the wrong choice and being hurt
by it, one day at a time...
11 :: Social
Blasphemy (4.22MB) - I used to live in this house that
used to be part of a nightclub called the Vertex (and Katina's).
We had old payphones and urinals in the basement. It was a huge,
but pretty much totally disgusting house. It was situated right
on route 9, the main throughway for the Pioneer Valley, and right
across the street from the former "Dead Mall", a tombstone
engraver, a liquor store, and a Burger King. My bedroom window boasted
a nearly perfect view of these establishments and my computer (where
I do my recording) was set up facing that window. All day and night
long, I would sit there watching countless hoards of people drive
by and started to realize the monotony and herd-mentality of people
on the whole. I had been listening to Leonard Cohen for quite some
time at that point, so my musical tastes followed suit, and so this
song is a very dark stab into an ideal where people have forgotten
themselves and instead pay hommage to "their neon gods".
It's short, but - I think - to the point.
12 :: Old
Dog, New Tricks (Instrumental) (9.52MB) - When I wrote
this riff, it became my most favorite of all time... most likely
because I haven't written really any others. It is the basis for
my song, "I Was Wrong", but has been
just a jam tune for me to try new things and practice others. It's
nothing special, and in all reality, I could probably destroy it
now, again, with all that I have learned since I recorded THIS version.
But anyways, here it is, in all it's splory and glendor.
13 :: Follow
Me (8.87MB) - Yeah, this is that other gay song that
I wrote for Chelsea. I wrote it after hanging out with her for the
first time - alone - and it makes references to that day and things
we talked about. I really liked her and despite the problems we
had, it was a fun relationship that I do definitely miss from time
to time. This was my promise to her that I would take care of her
should she choose to stay with me. But, like I say, it's gay and
is WAY too long.